Hakuouki: Chizuru: I am NOT a damsel!
by Rikkumorningstar
Summary: This is a rewrite where Chizuru is not so much a Damsel in Distress, But a warrioress who at times can be a total bad-ass
1. Prologue

"So this is Kyoto…"

I have to admit I was more impressed by my own fear of the place then I was with the place itself. It wasn't the people I feared per se but what I might do to them should they ever find out the secret that I harbored. At least the simple hellos between people passing in the street seemed warm and friendly. They didn't seem to even notice me as I meandered through the crowd.

They just nodded and smiled to one another almost as if they were family and not strangers about on errands. _Family_ , I glanced at each person as they continued to ignore me, _I wonder what that's like…_

Still…

There was something else as well. Something that made the hairs on my arms stand on end. Something that made the city feel strangely cold and uninviting. Almost as though there were a great invisible wall shutting out anyone it felt didn't belong.

"Um…"

I had to admit, it wasn't particularly comfortable.

I grumbled in frustration with my own paranoia.

"…No. No, that's all in my head."

I had no idea how far I had to walk to reach Kyoto, but it suddenly occurred to me that both my mind and body were very tired. Even so, exhaustion was no reason for me to stand about feeling sorry for myself. After all, I couldn't afford to.

"Um, excuse me!"

With new – albeit forced – resolve, I attempted to stop a passerby.

" I'm sorry, but I seem to be a bit lost, could you…?"

"What the heck am I supposed to do now?"

Once again, I was lost, but in a more frustrating sort of way.

I sighed in annoyance, and found myself looking up at the darkening sky. The sun was beginning to set. _Well hell!_

The people I'd spoken to hadn't exactly been unkind, and they had given me the directions I'd needed, but...

"Couldn't he have chosen a more _convenient_ time to leave the city?!"

Apart from my father, well to be quite honest my father was pretty damn useless unless you were wounded and dying, so really the only person I could rely on in the city was a man named Dr. Matsumoto.

My father was a doctor as well but he seemed to be the kind that only cared about his patients and about his family rarely at all.

According to my father, Dr. Matsumoto was a doctor in service to the shogunate.

I had never met the man myself, but my father put a great deal of trust in him which in itself did not make me feel all that much better about my current trek through the city of Kyoto.

Father had told me that if I should run into any trouble during his absence, I was to contact this Dr. Matsumoto. I mean honestly what's the worst that could happen, the guy couldn't possibly be worse than my father.

Unfortunately…

The doctor was apparently out of town on business, and would not return for some time. I know...typical absence of the doctor. Something I knew all too well.

"Was I too hasty? Perhaps I should have waited…"

Or perhaps I should have run away instead of coming to a city that had more danger than it was worth to search for a man who was more trouble than he was worth…!

But hey no one ever said that life was going to make sense…ever.

However, it is rather rude to visit unannounced, which was why I had sent a flippin letter ahead of me. Of course, if he'd been gone for very long, then he had most certainly not read my letter.

Now, a smart person would have waited for a reply before traveling alone to a city they've never even seen, but let's face it, I'm not nearly patient enough to be that smart.

"But…"

Oh, forget it! There's no point in reasoning with a mind that's this impatient. Besides, there was trouble even _I_ didn't trust my father not to get into.

"Chizuru…"

"Is something wrong, father?"

I gave him the most convincing concerned face I could muster.

He paused for a moment to glance at me.

"I… it would seem that I must go to the city of Kyoto for a time."

"Work again?"

This would be like the 4th time this month what the heck does he do that takes him away so often, it couldn't possibly just be doctor stuff.

Father had been leaving the house often then, sometimes for several days at a time. However, whenever he would sidestep the question of what he was doing while he was away, I never prodded further to get the real answer. After all my mother never did, or so I was told.

"How long will you be gone, this time?"

I tried to sound more disappointed than annoyed though I wasn't exactly sure I had succeeded.

If he had noticed it didn't show which only fueled my annoyance further.

"… I'm afraid I can't say. A month, perhaps. Maybe two."

"…Oh."

There was no hiding my disappointment. No, I wasn't disappointed that he was leaving, only that I was being left behind…again.

Nevertheless, I was no longer a child and therefore could not beg him to take me along or some other foolishness. Yes, I'd be lonely. And honestly that's all I could think about at the moment. The constant and never-ending loneliness that swallows me up every time he leaves.

I knew it was probably immature for me to get this angry but he was supposed to be my father first, doctor second. And even though I wanted to strangle him at that moment the words came flowing out of my mouth like some kind of sick habit.

"Please, Father, be careful."

I remember saying these words back when I actually meant them and even now that they no longer held any meaning for me I still found myself saying them.

"They say that the city of Kyoto is dangerous."

And as usual, he said nothing. He only smiled and nodded.

But then he surprised me by suddenly saying, "You needn't fret. I will be sure to send you letters as often as I am able, so that you will have no need to worry this time."

I was so entirely caught off guard by his kind words that I couldn't stop my next question.

"Do you promise?"

…

I couldn't believe it, father had actually kept his promise.

A new letter arrived everyday, and I scarcely had the time to respond before another would arrive. Each letter revealed that he was worried about me, home all by myself. I had a sudden vague memory of something similar my mother would do whenever she would leave me home alone. Though, if I was honest with myself, my mother had died before I could build any concrete memories of her. So, it was really more like a dream than any true memory.

But then the letters stopped and I couldn't help but wonder if all letters he _had_ sent had just been some kind of fluke.

A whole month passed with no word from my father and I began to strangely worry about the old man.

…

…

"Father…"

They say Kyoto is full of ronin. It is not a safe place for those of us who wish to keep our secrets hidden. If we were to run into some sort of life-threatening danger - if I were to - I didn't want to think about what I would have to do, even if it was in self-defense, to the person foolish enough to put my life in danger.

Usually, a Samurai is paid by their house, but…

Ronin with no house to report to often robbed people in order to make ends meet. They're nothing more than vicious animals who hide behind the image of the Samurai.

Such is the state of the city of Kyoto, the city of the apparently psychotic.

Small wonder, then, that I worried about my father's safety. My mind would concoct horrible possibilities and I inevitably found myself depressed and tense.

"Hmm…"

My stomach made a sudden embarrassing gurgle noise followed by a yawn erupting from my mouth.

"First, I suppose I need to find a place to eat and stay."

Lost in thought, I hadn't noticed that night had already fallen. If I was honest with myself, which I wasn't nearly enough, I hadn't the first clue how long it might _take_ to find my foolish father.

I'd taken some money with me but not nearly enough. I hoped it would last me a month if I used it wisely.

If I could find the old man in that time, so much the better. If not, hopefully Dr. Matsumoto would return before my funds ran out. Should I be unable to find either of them then it seems I'll be forced to return home. Though, if I was using my head instead of my heart I'd just run away and never look back. But there had been something stranger than usual about my father this time before he left, like he was hiding more secrets than he usually did... darker secrets.

I sighed in annoyance with myself.

"Well, at any rate… I should try and be as frugal as possible."

And so I quickened my pace and set off down the street. Fortunately for me, men's clothing was much more conducive to such a pace than women's clothing would have been. Not that I ever really wore women's clothing. I've always been partial to men's clothing, I mean, let's face it, it's more comfortable.

I decided early on that a girl from the country exploring the city of Kyoto alone would draw far too much attention, and someone would most likely end up dead.

My disguise, such as it was, had proven successful, and I'd made it all the way to Kyoto without anyone attempting to molest me...as if they could…ha.

Perhaps that success a gone to my head and let me think a woman dressed as a man could explore Kyoto as she pleased.

Though, it would appear fate had other plans for me.

Kyoto is not a safe place. I should have remembered that.

Instead, I had convinced myself that whatever dangers the city hid did not apply to someone like me.

"Hey, kid."

I was about to discover otherwise.

I mumbled under my breath.

"Well hell."

I slowly turned to the owner of the voice, prepared to do whatever it took to continue my search. In the street in front of me were three men. Ronin. I rolled my eyes.

"Fantastic," I grumbled.

"Can I help you?"

I did my best to make my voice appear innocent as I reached in what I felt was a nonchalant way for my katana.

My father had made me take lessons in self-defense as a child. I'd kept with them and had actually done better than he could have ever hoped. There were very few attacks that my skill could not defend against. Then again…

Perhaps it was my confidence in my skills that had put me in this situation in the first place.

I'd messed up and let my guard down, my fault. There was no doubt in my mind, however, that I could take them on and win. But would taking three lives really truly help me in this seemingly pointless search.

One of the ronin glanced at my Katana with a hunger in his eyes.

"Pretty nice blade you got there, kid."

I sighed and rolled my eyes again.

Only then did I realize they were far more interested in my sword than they were in me.

"Looks like a bit much for a pup like this one, am I right?"

"Give it here, okay? We'll use it to defend our country."

This one seemed to be the most clueless and therefore must be the leader of the idiot group.

For a moment, I contemplated unsheathing my sword and slaughtering all three of them, but then it occurred to me it might be more fun to mess with them a little considering it was only my sword they wanted and not my life.

However, the sword wasn't just some random blade I'd picked up: It had been passed down through my family for generations, my mother had left it for me. So I would have to make them pay just a little bit for attempting to take it from me.

I would play the part they so desired, the part of the innocent victim. I would retreat run and then when they least expect it…

I gave them an innocent smile as I removed my hand from my katana and then turned and ran as fast as my legs would carry me, but not so fast that they would lose sight of me.

"Hey! Get back here, you little bastard!"

Hysterical laughter tried to force its way through my mouth but I stifled it immediately. No point in letting on, too soon, that it wasn't I who was the victim here.

"Huh, they sure don't give up easily, do they?"

Though, in truth, I was actually kind of glad since now I would have an outlet for my previous frustration.

It seemed like I'd been running for quite some time. I worried my prey would soon tire, but I could still hear the ronin behind me cursing loudly.

I quickly ducked into an alley and flattened myself against the wall. Growing somewhat bored with this and worried that they'd be stupid enough to pass by the alleyway, I knocked over some plywood so they'd know exactly where I was.

I suddenly sensed a presence other than the three ronin and myself coming from the other end of the alley and decided to venture further into it.

It occurred to me I had sensed this presence once before when I was a child, it had terrified me then. And now it occurred to me that I should be more cautious with this particular presence closing in.

Someone had left a couple sheets of wood leaning against one of the houses. It was a perfect spot to hide. I wasn't particularly frightened but I also wasn't foolish enough to go up against something that could very possibly end me.

With luck, I thought as I knelt down to shuffle under them this will get me out of this mess…

…

…

"…Wtf?"

Something wasn't right. I had at least expected to hear whatever else was following me and the ronin to shriek or yell at each other, but…

Seconds turned into minutes, and I heard nothing. I was about to give up and continue my search, when…

"EEEEEAAAAAAAGHH!"

…they began to scream. The presence I had felt earlier grew exponentially.

"Wh-What?!"

For the first time since I was a child I felt fear seep into my very soul.

My plan to continue father searching was immediately halted.

Remaining silent and hidden was clearly more important.

Still…

One of the ronin cried out in anger.

"Damn you!"

Intense fear flowed through the words that fell from the third ronin's lips.

"What is this?! Why won't you die?! Dammit! We gotta get out of here!"

I'm not sure why but true fear began to seep into my own mind.

There was something out there something very, very dangerous. Something quite possibly even lethal to me.

The possibilities were… Well, my imagination conjured up no shortage of gruesome theories.

Even so I could feel caution being stripped away… I needed to know what was out there.

Slowly, carefully, I edged up to the corner and looked out. Cold Moonlight glared back at me from the bare blade of a drawn sword. My right hand instinctively flew to my own and before I knew it my own sword was drawn in an attempt to block theirs. My eyes then followed the blade up, to the arm that held it, clad in a coat of light blue.

The thing look down at me and let out a high pitched laugh.

"Ehehehehehehehehe!"

Clearly this, whatever it was, was not here to save me.

Now realizing just how much danger they truly were in the two surviving ronin began to slowly retreat.

"H-Help…!"

I glared at them, I mean, what the hell did they think I was doing?

The ronin pathetically begged for his life as he stumbled back and glanced at me as though I were the monster attacking him. That's when the second whatever it was stepped forward, clad in the same blue coat as the other, his sword raised.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!"

"Aaaaaahahahahahahahahaha!"

A high, screeching laugh cut through the man's scream.

The ronin's eyes pleaded with me once more and for a moment I hesitated; the man did after all try to kill me for my sword. But then the more gentle side of me won over, and as the blades fell through the air, more like a butcher's Cleaver than a sword, I felt something ancient surge through me, a long-forgotten power forcing its way through my veins, and I no longer felt afraid. Whatever those things were they apparently could sense it as well for they halted their attack on the two remaining ronin and turned to face me: their new prey.

I slowly looked up and narrowed my eyes in such a way I hoped they would find threatening. There was no need for anyone else to die needlessly. It was annoying enough to have witnessed one murder take place; if anyone else was going to die it would be by _my_ hand.

I narrowed my eyes further and growled at them not really sure if they even knew what that meant.

Whatever fear these creatures had instilled in me was suddenly gone.

The hunger in their eyes was almost animalistic. But I also knew that my own eyes were probably equally frightening. This part of me was not something I made a habit of showing but then I hardly ever came up against an opponent stronger than myself. In order to fight them I would have to draw strength from the part of me that I usually tend to ignore.

The two ronin began to whimper again, drawing the attention of one of the creatures back to them.

A third of the creatures came up from behind the two men and this unfortunately took all three of us by surprise. What happened next was too quick for me to even react. The two ronin had died with the first blow but as I watched the blades kept falling carving deep lines into the Corpses.

The soft slip of a blade through flesh; the crack is it struck bone; the silent creep of blood across the ground. I sensed nothing from them but madness. They're only desire was raw, animal violence. I was now positive they were not human.

They were…broken.

The smell of the blood, there was so much of it that even I couldn't bare it.

"Hgkk…"

I could feel my throat closing up but I forced myself to remain standing and alert. The warm dark smell brushed against my face, causing an icy bolt of fear to run down my spine. Now, a smart person would be terrified, but like I said before, I'm just not patient enough to be that smart.

But what _was_ I going to do…? The strength of the creature pushing their sword down on my own was becoming more intense with each passing moment. What _could_ I do…?

I thought about running, but somehow I knew that as soon as I stopped pushing up on the sword of the creature that was standing behind me it would cut me down. There had to be some way to survive this.

I forced my jaw open and drew a ragged breath.

The other two creatures were still mutilating the bodies of the three dead men; I did not think I could handle hearing the noise of bones being crushed over and over and over any longer.

I drew in one more unsteady breath and yelled at them.

"Hey, uglies!"

The creatures turned, their blue coats drenched in blood. Hideous animalistic grins split there inhuman faces, and they shook with animal excitement at finding fresh prey to slaughter.

 _Well hell!_

"I can see that you're going to make this one of _those_ nights."

I didn't know what else to do so I just bantered at them.

It occurred to me that I made a huge mistake venturing into this narrow alley seeing as though I had no route of escape. My arms were becoming tired and I desperately searched for any gaps I may have missed through which to escape. Dying now would be unacceptable.

But I couldn't get off my knees. The power behind the sword of the enemy was much more than my own. Then that hideous cackling laughter began again and I couldn't help but wonder if I _was_ going to die _after_ _all._

My body was now frozen with terror. I couldn't even scream. This was it. Well life it was nice living you.

As they all raised their blades I finally let both of mine fall to the ground…in defeat.

A sudden whoosh of wind and a spray of something wet hitting my skin, forced my eyes open and I quickly surveyed my new surroundings.

"What the…?"

There was a flash of light and another soft splash of blood. I could feel it, warm and sticky. The smell of _this_ Blood was far more pungent than that of the three men who had died at the hands of the _creatures'_ blades. Bile began to rise in my throat, but before disgust could take hold I heard a voice…

"Really…?"

The words suggested disappointment, but the voice sounded…happy.

"And here I was, planning to take care of them all on my own. Couldn't you have picked another day to work so quickly, Saito?"

As he spoke, the strange man smiled, almost as if he were enjoying himself. And don't think for a moment that I didn't notice these strange men were wearing the same clothing as the creatures had worn.

"I only did my job. Unlike you, I take no pleasure in battle."

 _That's not how it looked from here,_ I thought, bemused.

"Well, that's not a very nice thing to say."

He laughed, clearly more amused than insulted.

The other man rolled his eyes and then said, "…You don't even bother to deny it."

The man called Saito sighed with the air of a long-suffering companion, and looked over at me.

"Maybe, but if you'd just sat back and let them kill the kid you could have saved us some trouble."

I narrowed my eyes at the snarky one and struggled with the urge to smack him across the face. I don't know who he thought he was but three creatures that could very well have been his companions for all I knew had just tried to kill me only to be slaughtered by them. And now he regrets not having let them kill me as well?! What a jerk.

"Perhaps. That decision is not ours to make."

"huh…?"

So… there was someone in charge of these two. The conversation seemed to suggest they were part of an organization of some sort. (Organization of thugs no doubt.) Though, as I thought about it, I remembered hearing stories of a group of men with blue coats…

"Ah-!"

My thoughts were rudely interrupted by a dark shape sliding into view. But when my eyes met his I no longer cared.

"Oh…"

I swallowed hard and prayed to any god that would listen that he could not see the sudden flush in my cheeks. The Moonlight shone off his smooth, dark hair. For reasons I couldn't fathom, in that moment the light on his hair made me think of fluttery flower petals… Almost as if the cherry trees were blooming out of season.

 _He's gorgeous_ , I thought to myself and then immediately felt even more embarrassed. The guy had a freaking sword pointed at my throat and here I was enamored by his unnatural beauty.

"Luck is not your friend tonight."

His voice was cold and quiet like a blade of ice. The glow of the blue white moon lit his young slender face and shone from the blade he held pointed at my throat. However, it wasn't the sword that made my breath catch in my throat. It was his alluring amethyst eyes. They were Fierce and hard, but somewhere behind them I could catch a glimpse of...something else. There could be no doubt that he was prepared to kill me, and yet he looked troubled. Not kindness, but perhaps...mercy?

"Run, and I will end you. Do you understand?"

I nodded. There could be no doubt that he'd meant every word he said. But yet he stared at me for a moment his eyes lingering where my breasts would have been had I not had them tightly bandaged up. He didn't strike me as a pervert yet his eyes still lingered near my chest as though he wondered why it wasn't there.

 _Well hell._ _You don't suppose he knows you're a girl?_

If he did, if he had somehow seen through my pitiful disguise, would he change his mind and show me mercy or would he still kill me?

I let my gaze linger within his for a moment longer, but then he turned and grimaced, and with a sigh put his sword away.

"Wait-what…?"

I was too surprised to stop myself from speaking, and it quickly became apparent that I wasn't the only one.

The snarky man was the next to speak.

"What? Wait, Hijikata, are you sure about this? This kid saw...well, everything. That can't be good."

As he spoke to the man he'd called Hijikata, his eyes narrowed at me. The man called Hijikata glanced at me as well but with a frown instead. But then he quickly averted his eyes back to his companion.

"Shut up. If you keep that up, you know what we're going to have to do."

… I wasn't quite sure what they meant, but it was clear enough that what I'd seen was something they wanted to keep hidden. Should I slip up and say anything about this to anyone it would most likely be the end for me.

Still, the more they said, the more I understood, despite the fact that none of us wanted such a thing.

"I really think it's going to come back to bite us in the ass if we let this kid go."

The way the snarky one looked at me as he spoke made me feel as if he'd read my mind, though I was seriously becoming fed up with his attitude and his obvious dislike of me.

However, perhaps it would be best if I didn't think too hard about things I wasn't supposed to think about.

The man named Hijikata scowled at his companion as though he found it hard to believe that anyone could be so cruel. Though it was clear that he knew only too well just how cruel people could really be.

"So we should just kill people so they don't bother us later? No. I'll decide what we're going to do with this kid when we get back."

Saito, who had been previously silent, finally spoke.

"I agree with the commander. If we remain here, we are likely to be seen. Again."

He spoke with quiet confidence. He then glanced around, possibly looking for other Witnesses. Finally, he looked down at the creature he'd killed, almost as though he'd forgotten the whole ordeal.

What was wrong with these people?! Three men were just killed followed by three more. Granted three of them had been complete dirt bags and the other three were well I wasn't quite sure what they were, but still! The point of the matter was that there were now six corpses all around us on the ground and these three men we're acting like this was some kind of everyday occurrence!

"If they have this sort of reaction to blood, then they don't seem like they'll be very practical."

Now what were they babbling about? Blood? Reaction? What the heck was I getting myself into?

Hijikata gave a heavy sigh before saying, "…Damn. I didn't think they'd gotten this bad."

He peered down at the corpse, his face an emotionless mask. When he looked back up at his companions, however, his eyes narrowed.

"As for you two… drop the 'Hijikata' and 'Commander' stuff. We're supposed to be keeping a low profile."

The snarky one seemed to think this was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

"What?! Come on, you cannot be serious… You don't think our blues are a bit of a give-away already?"

He was right, though… Even _I_ had heard stories about a gang of cruel men in blue coats who cut people down in the streets.

But—

"No…no. Don't you dare start thinking about any of this again."

I just wanted to go and continue on with my search for my father but I also knew that as soon as I turned my back on them I would most likely be _killed_ by them. My mind swirled with thoughts and worries. I was being drawn into their world…

…A world where there is nothing strange in carrying on a normal conversation in the dead of night, with corpses for company.

"What shall we do with the bodies, then? There doesn't seem to be any physical signs, but…"

Hijikata glanced at Saito then to the bodies before he responded.

"Just take their blues. Yamazaki can deal with the rest."

Saito gave an almost imperceptible frown.

"As you wish."

The 3rd and still nameless one in the group looked down at the corpses; a smile that I could not read swept across his lips.

"Another man cut down in the street, huh? Doing a great job, aren't we?"

He gave a derisive of bark of laughter. I wanted to vomit, again. Though, the cause was no longer the blood of the creatures, but my disgust with this jerk.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Three men were just killed tonight by those things and...and all you can do is compliment their handiwork?!"

Well, at least that's what I _wanted_ to say and was just about to when—

"So long as _we keep our mouths shut_ I don't think anyone will connect us with this."

Hijikata looked directly at me when he spoke, and I got the distinct feeling that his words were meant for me and not his companions.

I knew it was common for people to be murdered in Kyoto. It was a dangerous city, after all. But to see it happen to not just one but three people? That was something else entirely. If death was such an easy thing in Kyoto, I thought, then the city itself must surely be mad.

The man whose name I had yet to learn suddenly turned to me, his arms crossed and a smirk gracing his lips.

"Ah yes… We did save you, didn't we? Aren't you going to thank us?"

I walked straight up to him and placed a daring hand on my hip and yes I did dare look him straight in the eye.

"You expect me to thank _you_. I don't think so."

I smirked at him as he blinked several times clearly in a state of confusion.

I then veered past him and up to the person who had actually done the saving, whether it was intentional or not, and then bowed to them.

"Thank you, kind sir, for saving me." I spoke in a way I hoped would convey sincerity.

I glanced up at him, tentatively. The man called Saito was showing some confusion of his own. His eyes were wide, and he had an expression I couldn't quite place. I then turned to Hijikata who looked as though he'd taken a bite of something sour.

…

Feeling suddenly stupid, I found myself wondering if I had done something wrong.

…

Well, hell…

Desperately thinking of something, anything to say, I turned back to Saito.

"I know it's completely inappropriate to say, considering," I glanced down at the victims of the earlier nightmare before returning my gaze to Saito and the other two. "But, whether it was intentional or not, you all _did_ save me, so I—"

I narrowed my eyes as the events of that night continued to surprise and annoying me. Saito and Hijikata we're both looking pointedly at anything but me, and the third man was shaking with laughter!

…

"Ha! Oh man… My apologies but you are just too much!"

He then broke out into laughter...again. So much so in fact that he was forced to wipe a few tears from his eyes as he was straightening up.

When he was finally done being a jerk and was able to speak in a calmer voice, "Well, you're welcome, I'm Okita Souji. Nice to see a kid who knows how to be polite."

…

I had no response for that, not a one. He just got done laughing at me like some kind of psychotic jackal and now his two companions were looking at us in what I could only hope was complete embarrassment with him.

Against my better judgement I found myself turning to him and bowing a second time, this time to Okita.

"Thank you for helping me…"

Not sure what else to do or say I bowed one last time before looking down at my shoes as though they were suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Okita?"

Hijikata narrowed his eyes as he spoke in a low voice.

Saito then turned to him, an unreadable gleam in his eyes.

"Commander, I understand your concerns, but we must move."

Hijikata nodded in agreement. Whatever mirth I may have inspired was now clearly gone.

The man who'd called himself Okita grabbed hold of my wrist, gave me a smile, and began to lead me down the street. His grip was a touch too tight to be friendly; his fingers like iron cables around my arm. He may have had appeared to have been unruffled by my earlier behavior, but clearly I had struck a nerve. Yep. There was no question about my current situation. If I ran, I would die, though not without taking at least two of them down with me.

Even if I did exactly as I was told, my life was still in the hands of these strange men, one of which might actually be insane and the other two, well, I suppose I could tolerate _them_ for a little while.

I set my jaw and stood up as straight as I could. Wouldn't want them to think that I was some kind of puppet that they could just pull along by a string. And then I wanted to kick myself as I realized that that was sadly what I had temporarily become. My eyes met those of Saito as he looked up from the blood-stained coats he had folded in his arms.

"It would be best if you prepared for the worst. I doubt this will end well for you."

His words were like a dagger in my stomach. I could feel anger and hurt start to boil inside me again as I looked him square in the eyes.

"So, wait, you saved me just so you could condemn me later?!"

If my words had bothered him at all, he hid it well. He said nothing as he turned back around and continued down the street. Okita chuckled to himself as he continued to lead me through the silent night.

"I'm so glad my turmoil amuses you."

As I spoke to him I struggled to release my wrist from his hand only to have him tighten his grip.

I sighed and gave up and allowed him to continue to lead me through the darkness.

What was going to happen to me?

Well hell, I'm going to die, aren't I?

As we walked through the cold Kyoto night I felt horror begin to crawl its way up my spine once again. The cause of my horror wasn't the gruesome end that almost certainly awaited me, but something else entirely. I'd spoken to these men, and watched them speak to one another, not feet from still-warm corpse soaked in blood. That I had done such a thing terrified me in an altogether different way.

Perhaps, I thought, this is what it is to go mad.


	2. Chapter 1-1

_(a/n: Sorry for the long-ish wait but wait no longer for chapter 1 is here! hope you like...plz enjoy!)_

Chapter 1-1

January 1864

I could hear the sudden twittering of songbirds and as I rolled over uncomfortably I noticed that I couldn't move my arms.

Well hell, what had happened to me? Then it hit me and I remembered... Ah. Yes. ...Right. How could I have forgotten something so deplorably embarrassing, not to mention frightening? They had tied me up like I was some kind of mangy dog.

If only this was my room, I thought.

I struggled with the ropes in an attempt to reach the tiny blade that I had stitched into a small pocket in my sleeve. Lucky for me when they had searched me they hadn't done a very thorough job, and upon the usual prick of my finger I knew I had found my lucky arrowhead. Unfortunately, my arms and hands were bound so tightly that the most I could do with the arrowhead was hold it between my fingers and try not to drop it.

"If only this were just a really strange nightmare..."

But it was not.

I had met those irritatingly strange men the night before, and they practically dragged me back with them to their headquarters... Of the Shinsengumi.

Well great, what was gonna happen to me now...? Okay so I didn't really want to know... What I did know was what I was going to do to them if they didn't come in here and untie me right this instant and explain to me why they had to tie me up in the first place!

Who was I kidding; they had swords; and I was tied up, not to mention I had no idea where they had put _my_ swords! Giving up on my struggle with the ropes that bound me, I gave a heavy sigh of defeat and awaited my fate.

It was at that moment that the door slid open, and a kind-looking man stepped through. Though whether his kind eyes were a mask that hid his true nature…

"I see you've woken up."

With a soft smile, he introduced himself as Genzaburo Inoue.

"I'm sorry we have to treat you this way… Hold on a moment. I'll loosen the ropes, all right?"

As he spoke, almost imperceptible worry creased his forehead.

His smile quirked as he removed my ropes, working quickly and skillfully. My wrists, however, were left bound.

I glanced at my hands and then slowly looked back at him, questioningly.

"Uh, thanks, but…" I paused a moment as I studied his eyes for any hostility. And when I felt I could trust him not to lop off my head, I carefully lifted my hands and added, "Is this really necessary?"

He let out a short laugh as though I had said something amusing, and a sudden wave of impatience took hold of me again. However, I quickly pushed it back down not wanting to be rude to the only member of this crazy group who has been kind to me so far.

"I am sorry but it is a necessary precaution seeing as we know nothing about you as of yet. Now, if you'll follow me, please."

He rose to his feet carefully pulling me up with him, "They've been discussing what to do with you since morning… For now, they've decided to hear what exactly it is you saw last night."

I had no response for that, so I just nodded and did my best to stay standing, my body still a bit unsteady after being tied up all night.

The man who called himself Inoue was very polite and almost kind, but it was quite clear that I was to do as I was told. He must have been able to guess my thoughts, because he smiled at me and winked.

I did a mental eye roll, again, not wanting to be rude. I smiled back, though with how stiff I felt I wasn't sure if it was actually convincing.

Clearly it wasn't since the next words out of his mouth were, "You don't need to worry. I know they seem scary, but they're all really very nice."

 _Doubtful,_ I thought to myself.

I wasn't quite sure what to say to that so I said nothing at all. After all, even at home I'd heard rumors of the _vicious_ Shinsengumi. They weren't pleasant rumors, either. It was hard to imagine that the people in charge of such an organization were anything resembling…nice.

…

Inoue led me to a room and opened the door. As I stepped inside I found myself surrounded by the leaders of the Shinsengumi. Their eyes dug into me like knives dipped in poison. I froze, as though paralyzed, just past the threshold, and swallowed.

Okita glanced up at me and gave a smile that was almost kind, and had I not known better I would have believed it to be real.

"Good morning! I hope you slept well?"

 _Yeah right, I'm so sure,_ I thought struggling to not start a stare-down with him.

I remembered him… Okita. I mean how could I not; he had acted like a total lunatic the previous night. However, perhaps it was because I was surrounded by strange men, but it was oddly comforting to see a face I recognized… even if it was the face of insanity. I had no doubt that he was willing and almost certainly able to kill me.

 _How about we gag and tie_ you _up and see how well_ you _sleep?!_ It quickly occurred to me, however, that this would be a very unfortunate choice of words… So instead I said, calmly as possible, "Well, it hadn't been particularly…comfortable."

Okita's right brow arched, "Really…?" His mouth quirked sideways into a grin. "Because when I went to have a look at you earlier, you didn't budge no matter what I poked."

My eyes widened in anger and then quickly narrowed in rage. I had a sudden overwhelming urge to throttle him.

 _He is so lucky that my hands are still bound,_ I thought clenching my jaw shut. Okita's grin widened as my previous urge to throttle transformed to contemplating murder.

Saito rolled his eyes at our clearly childish behavior and my cheeks flushed at my _own_ immaturity.

 _How can I have fallen for such an obvious tease?!_

"Souji didn't go anywhere near your room last night."

Quite silent I blinked at Saito who had just spoken, a hint of annoyance in his tone.

I turned back to Okita. His grin still playing about his face, he glanced over at Saito then winked at me, "Aah, I just wanted to see you squirm a little," veering back to Saito, "Not very nice of you, Hajime, calling me out like that."

…He must be kidding. How did this guy ever become captain?!

"Shut it. You sound like a couple of kids," came another familiar voice.

I turned to the voice to find the overly beautiful Hijikata glaring down at us. I quickly looked away in utter embarrassment. His voice brooked no further insubordination. Okita shrugged and was silent, but the smile remained in his eyes.

"So Hijikata… This is your witness?"

The man who spoke was… Okay, so perhaps man was a poor choice of word considering he looked more like a boy than a full grown adult. I'd imagined the leaders of the Shinsengumi to be old—or at least middle-aged—men, but… They all looked quite young.

…

In fact, they looked rather like a group of young thugs…

The boy who had just spoken glanced at me his eyes, narrowed in annoyance, but a hint of amusement held strong within them, "He's a real stick, huh? Just a kid…"

The brat's name was Heisuke. On our way from my room, Inoue had given me a brief description of the people I was about to meet. Supposedly, Heisuke was the youngest captain in the Shinsengumi.

Another young man with red hair pulled back into a loose ponytail spoke next, " _You're_ calling him a kid, Heisuke? That's rich."

He chuckled as he spoke, but the way he looked at me suggested that there was little he missed, despite his humor.

"Right you are." Said the third man, "To anybody else, I'll bet the two of you just look like another pair of scrawny little brats."

The man who just spoke nodded with brows drawn, as if he was quite serious about the subject.

However, Inoue had told me that two of the men in particular were… somewhat immature, to put it nicely. He had said that the one with short brown hair was Nagakura, and that the one with longer red hair was Harada.

Heisuke scowled at them both, "Leave off, you grumpy old bastards."

Nagakura's mouth quirked sideways into a grin, "The hell I will, boy! You think you can get away with talking to us like that?!"

"Besides," Said Harada, "I'm hardly old enough to be called 'old'. Shinpachi, maybe, but…not me."

Nagakura glared at his supposed friend, "You son of a… I thought we were friends!"

Heisuke burst out laughing and once again I was forced to wonder just how anyone this immature could ever become a captain of a group as fierce as the Shinsengumi.

"Ha ha ha ha! C'mon, Shin! Would an adult get so worked up over something like that?"

They're back and forth had the feel of a routine that long predated my arrival, but they couldn't quite hide the odd inquisitive glance in my direction. I could sense something other than simple curiosity, a feeling of animosity, or resentment, perhaps. Despite their cheerful levity, they had not forgiven my presence among them.

Suddenly, I wished very much that I had never come looking for my father. See this is exactly what I had meant when I had said he was more trouble than he was worth. If I hadn't come looking for him in the first place I would never have gotten into this situation.

My chest tightened, not in fear, but anger. If I ever got out of here and found out that he was off gallivanting in the red districts or some other equally deplorable place, I swore to any God who cared to listen that I would end him.

"I apologize for all of this frightening behavior. Please, don't give them the pleasure of unsettling you."

The man who had spoken had a kind face unlike the others who all seemed to be scowling in my general direction. His voice was calm and warm, though I couldn't let myself relax, they all still had their swords while I, well… didn't.

Hijikata smirked and slowly shook his head before saying, "Are you serious? You're the scariest out of all of us, Sanan."

As he finished speaking, the rest of the men nodded solemnly in agreement. I glanced at Sanan and searched his eyes for this evil that they all seemed to think he had inside him, but I was unable to find any traces of it.

Sanan smiled back at him seemingly unfazed by Hijikata's crude words.

"Oh? How cruel. I can understand _their_ feelings, but that even our demon of a commander should think so…"

Sanan leaned back, his reposte delivered.

Hijikata also said nothing, but his _own_ smile did not leave _his_ face either.

"You're Lucky to have a friend like Sanan, Toshi."

However, Hijikata and Sanan were not listening and instead had started a violent stare down. How anyone could think these two were friends was beyond me. Still, the man who had spoken had certainly sounded as though he thought they were friends.

Said man then turned to me, a glimmer of my hope in his eyes, "Oh, my apologies. I haven't introduced myself. I am Isami Kondou, Chief of the Shinsengumi."

The most important man in the Shinsengumi, then.

"Toshi over there is the commander, and Sanan is our colonel."

Hijikata closed eyes and slowly shook his head before bringing his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Ah…Kondou? Why are you telling him all this?"

Their leader blinked a few times, clearly clueless, "Uh… Why, do you think it's a bad idea?"

This time it was Nagakura who spoke, "Well, unless you really think this kid needs to know all our secrets, maybe you should keep your mouth shut."

Heisuke nodded in agreement, "Exactly! Why bother anyway? We don't owe this kid anything."

Harada glanced over at Kondou and let out a bark of laughter. I was dumbfounded and shocked beyond my own belief, though not by the fact that they were talking to Kondou this way but because he was letting them! I found it hard to believe that this guy was the leader of the Fierce and feared by all Shinsengumi.

Harada glanced at me then back at Kondou, "True, but it's not like telling 'im will hurt us."

Kondou had looked rather disappointed when Hijikata had spoken, however he perked up again at Harada's kind words.

I've scarcely known him for five minutes, but already I could see that he was well-liked by his men. He had that sort of charisma that simply drew you in. A man who was impossible to hate.

Kondou turned so that he was once again facing his men, "…Well, let's get back to the business at hand. Can you run through what happened last night?"

His glance slid to Saito, who gave a small nod and began to speak, "Last night we were on patrol when we encountered some wandering ronin. They drew steel, so we fought. Some of our men subdued the ronin, but in doing so exposed their failure."

As he finished, Saito turned to look at me. He seemed to be searching my eyes for the answers to questions he didn't dare ask in front of everyone else. Needless to say, this was making me very uncomfortable. I forced my eyes to remain on his and my mouth to open. Against my better judgment I chose lie over truth, "I didn't see anything." I knew he would see right through it but I didn't see how I had any other choice. I mean, let's be honest here, they were going to kill me whether I told the truth or lied and got caught.

Hijikata softened a little at my response, but Saito remained expressionless and the smile on Okita's face didn't falter.

Heisuke, however, was the only one to question my answer, "Huh. You _sure_ you didn't see anything?"

I nodded, "Yes, I didn't see anything." I was so mad at myself for lying to them like this that I was beginning to feel sick. However, if I was to ever get out of here and find my father then telling the truth was a risk I just could not take.

Heisuke seemed satisfied with my answer, "Really… Well, if that's true, then I don't see what the problem is."

Nagakura, however, was unfortunately for me not convinced, "Now hold on a minute. I thought Souji said you helped out some of our men or something…"

"Oh, he did, did he," I slid my gaze to Okita and narrowed my eyes. I knew he was lying, he knew he was lying, and yet he had this big stupid grin on his face!

I turned back to Nagakura and let out a heavy sigh, "I'm sorry but that's not true."

I glanced back over at Okita, but his smile hadn't changed. Whatever he was thinking was a mystery to me. I did not know how much more of this stupid game of his I could tolerate.

"I had been running _away_ from the ronin…" this was also a lie, but one that I was not ashamed to tell, after all it was partially true. I _had_ been running away, but only to lure those morons into a trap of my own, and this was a _truth_ I was ashamed to tell. If I had just, I don't know, knocked them all unconscious, then they never would have followed me into an alley that I would have never had to go into and they would have never been massacred by those **_things!_**

"And then," I continued, "some people with Shinsengumi uniforms showed up… Really, they sort of rescued _me_."

Nagakura narrowed his eyes at me, "Then that means you saw them slicing up those ronin, right?"

My heart skipped a beat as I realized my mistake far too late…

"Uh-um…"

 _Oh crap…_

There was no point in denying any longer that I was lying.

Harada's eyes slowly slid to mine. I looked back and saw within his a hint of concern but mostly annoyance, "So in other words, you actually saw everything. The whole ugly business."

I hung my head in shame, and not wanting to lie any longer, I said softly, "Yes."

"You've got an honest heart. That's not really a bad thing, but…"

I wasn't quite sure what to make of Harada's words, I mean, was he condemning me or was he saving me?

My presence had not been a good thing for the Shinsengumi. Would their next words be the ones that condemned me to death for being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Perhaps it was from being overwhelmed by fatigue but my voice shook as I continued with my plea.

"I won't tell anyone! I swear!"

It was Sanan who spoke up this time, "It seems unlikely this attack was mere chance. Then again, I have no reason to think you're an enemy either." He frowned momentarily and then gave me a sad smile, "Even if you do not intend to tell anyone, you could be captured; interrogated. I doubt you could withstand torture."

"If only you knew all the things I had to withstand through my long life," is what I wanted to tell him but instead I kept my mouth shut… and looked away.

Saito's soft voice pierced my thoughts, "It's easy enough to stay quiet, but if someone should try to… coerce you, you've no reason to keep our secrets."

He was right, I had no reason to keep their secrets. Though I had no reason not to either. After all, had they really intended to kill me they would have done so by now. Perhaps, this meant that none of them truly wanted to go through with killing me.

Okita's eyes slid to mine, a smile tugging at his lips, "We don't have any kind of guarantee that you'll keep your word. It wouldn't be very smart to just let you go."

None of them except Okita, that is.

His smile widened into that of a nasty grin as he folded his arms and then turned to Hijikata, "Let's just kill the kid. You want to keep someone quiet, that's the only sure way."

Fantastic. If everyone here is as crazy as this nut job then I'm doomed.

I looked desperately at their Chief, who gave Okita a reproving look, "Don't be so cold, Souji. What do we gain by murdering a civilian?"

Okita's smile vanished, and his eyes flicked to me before lowering them to the floor. He then rose his eyes back to his leader only to find Kondou glaring back at him, "Oh don't give me that look. I was just kidding."

"Then perhaps it should have sounded like it," Saito's voice was as calm as ever.

Okita made an attempt at a derisive snort and looked intently at a wall, his face slightly red.

Inoue seemed to be the only one who thought this was insanity, "But surely, there must be something we can do? After all, we're talking about a child…"

Sanan also seemed appalled by this decision. His eyes flicked to mine before returning to Kondou's, "I've no wish to kill him either, but we can't discount the chance that he could reveal information about us."

Sanan paused for a moment, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was going to take Okita's side after all, but then his brows furrowed, and he turned to Hijikata.

"I would like to hear the commander's opinion."

With the responsibility of his position invoked, Hijikata had no choice. He sighed, and glanced around the room. His eyes slid to mine periodically as he spoke, "Last night we had to kill some men who broke the code. This kid was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time."

The kindness in Sanan's eyes was replaced with a mixture of confusion and intrigue, "And I imagine you mean to say that's all there is to it?"

"Well, he probably saw something, but I doubt he really understood what it was."

Nagakura was still not convinced that I should be out of the woods just yet, "Even so, this is serious. We have bigger things to think about. We have to keep this under wraps. If rumors were to get out that the soldiers of the Shinsengumi are thirsty for blood, that would be problematic."

Shinpachi's words made sense, they knew it I knew it.

Why didn't I just stay home, I thought miserably.

The look in Hijikata's eyes became grim.

It was Harada who broke the silence brought on by the previous spoken truth, "I think Souji has a point. …Still, I'll do whatever Hijikata and Kondou tell me to."

Heisuke was highly troubled by all this talk of murdering, "I think we oughta let him go. It's not like he knows why they went nuts, you know?"

…Wait, what did he mean by that? You mean there was actually a reason behind those creature's insanity?!

Hijikata saw my eyes go wide, and I saw his narrow. They then flicked to Heisuke.

"Shut it, Heisuke."

No sooner were the words out of Hijikata's mouth than Heisuke smacked both hands over his own.

"Uh oh. Well, this is going to make it even harder for us to just let you go…"

Okita smirked as he said these cruel words.

Nagakura seemed frustrated about something as his eyes flicked to mine, "A man should always be ready to face death. You should make peace with yours."

A man? Excuse me… I would think that men of such an organization would be smart enough to see that I'm clearly a woman…!

Great, so they thought I was a boy...fantastic…

With everything else that had happened that previous night, I'd completely forgotten how I was dressed!

"Very true."

Apparently Harada agreed.

"A brave death is always an option. When I was young, I committed honorable suicide."

This I did not even _try_ to understand…

Nagakura, however, found this quite amusing… the reason behind this I didn't even want to know.

"Although it didn't really stick, did it Sano?"

Their jokes were… too barbaric, even for my taste, but they both broke into raucous laughter at them.

Saito did his best to ignore them.

"Hijikata… since we can't seem to reach a consensus, can I send the child back to his room?"

As he spoke, Saito turned to look at me.

"If you hear something you shouldn't while you're here, then we'll have no choice but to kill you."

"Fantastic! You may as well kill me then. Because I'm fairly sure I've heard more than my fair share of things that I shouldn't," I wanted to say to him, but instead just nodded and stayed silent.

Never-the-less, he was right. If I remained here with them, then it was very possible that I would hear something _else_ I wasn't supposed to!

I mumbled nonsense, quietly to myself, about how this was all my father's fault.

Hijikata nodded in agreement, "This is true. Will you take care of him?"

Saito nodded but said nothing.

Sanan spoke next, "I agree. There are far too many careless men here."

Nagakura's cheeks flushed slightly, "C'mon, Sanan… What're you looking at me for?"

Harada smirked, "That oughta be pretty obvious. We're in charge of being careless. Especially you, Heisuke."

The youngest captain's cheeks went bright red as he flicked his eyes to his two supposed friends, "H-Hey! Back off! It was just a mistake, all right?"

I could hear Heisuke's voice rise as everyone turned to look at him. He looked back at them for a bit, then turned to me and mumbled in a voice I could barely hear.

"I…I'm sorry."

…

I was pretty sure that I was still about to die, so I couldn't bring myself to say to him more than just, "It happens…" but he looked as though he'd meant what he said, so I gave him an awkward nod. Which was the most I could manage.

Besides, now that I was being brought to a room away from this one and possibly being left alone there, I had to remain focused on planning a way to escape from here.

"Shall we go?"

I almost didn't hear Saito's soft quiet words but managed a nod and one last glance at Heisuke's worried eyes as Saito led me away from the room.

… … …

After they had taken me back to my room, I stopped there for a Time, struggling with the ropes that bound my hands. If I could just get them loose enough so that I could use my lucky Arrowhead, I could free my hands and be rid of this place…or so I hoped.

The wonderful ripping sounds of the ropes tearing apart had my heart skipping a beat as it sped into a race of excitement.

Something stopped me, however, from leaving the room once my hands were free.

"Hmm…"

The rumors I'd heard had said the Shinsengumi were cruel, vicious men, but they'd seemed much more human than that.

Then again, even as I sat there they were deciding whether or not to kill me…

"I don't think they really want to kill me, well except maybe that Okita guy… however, it seems like they think they may not have a choice."

I rubbed my hands as the tingling effects of blood recirculating began to take hold.

If I didn't defend myself somehow, I'd definitely be killed.

I didn't know how I was supposed to convince them, though and I didn't really care.

However they might have felt about me, it was clear that their priority was the welfare of the Shinsengumi.

Hold it. They thought I was still a boy, perhaps if I told them I was a girl that would somehow change their mind or perhaps it would somehow make my predicament even worse.

Either way I had to find a way to escape. I refused to die in this hellhole!

And that meant leaving immediately. Staying in that room wasn't likely to improve my chances.

Fortunately, my hands were free now so they wouldn't be slowing me down as they would have been in their previous position bound behind my back. I definitely had a chance.

"All right, now the exit was...where again…"

I cast my memory back to when they had brought me into the headquarters the night before.

"…Right."

It should work. It had to work.

I slowly rose to my feet and holding my breath, edged toward the door. Leaving this way was rather rude but I was hardly given a choice.

With my right hand, I reached for the door…

I was almost there when suddenly it flew open all on its own, revealing—

"What?!"

I let out an embarrassing shriek as both Kondou and I toppled to the floor.

Sanan had been standing directly behind him and was now staring down at us, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"Oh my… Well, that was rather bold. You meant to run away, I assume?"

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but decided it was better not to.

Sanan's expression softened though his choice of words did not.

"Trying to run was not wise. It will only make your situation more difficult."

He glanced down at my hands and I did not try to hide them but his eyes became cold as ice upon seeing that they were no longer bound.

Too late, I realized why they'd only bothered to tie my hands. They'd been watching me.

"I told you once, and I won't do it again. Run, and I'll kill you."

Hijikata's voice was low, and filled with quiet rage.

"Sorry, but now we've got to kill you. We can't trust a kid who can't keep a promise."

"The hell you will," I muttered and then made a mad dash for the door.

If I was going to die anyway, then I had nothing to lose by trying to escape.

Slipping around a stunned Kondou, I took off down the hallway.

A shadow slid into view before I could make it to the entrance.

"Did you really think you could escape?"

With the speed and Grace of that of a great cat, Hijikata snatched me from the floor in one smooth motion.

"Let me go!"

"You think I'm stupid? You'll just try to run. No."

His voice was angry. I squirmed and twisted, but I couldn't escape. His strength was unbelievable.

"But I can't die here!"

My voice threatened to waver, but I refused to let him hear just how afraid I really was.

"Damn it! There's something I still have to do!"

"Hmph. And what's that, huh? What makes a girl put on pants and run around Kyoto pretending she's a boy?"

Finally someone noticed I was a girl!

Hijikata placed me back on the ground and I whipped around to examine his eyes. He did not look happy.

I flinched away and then blinked at my surroundings. Well hell, I'd been so busy struggling to get free of his monster grip that I hadn't even noticed he'd brought me back to that room.

Sanan look at us and then nodded.

"I see. Then you really were a girl."

I gaped at him for a moment and then blinked.

"C'mon, you really thought putting on a pair of pants was going to fool us? Even an idiot could see you're a girl."

I was already becoming quite familiar with that voice I mean how could I not, the jerk always had something snarky to say.

"Oh, Isami Kondou, you fool! This is the embarrassment of a lifetime! How could I not have realized?!"

At this point the whole room went silent well except for Okita, who seemed to be struggling with not choking on the laughter now stuck in his stupid throat.

Kondou's reaction, I confess, made me feel little bit better.

Hijikata's eyes slid to mine.

"You almost got killed for it, whatever it is. Maybe it's time you spoke up, kid."

Not trusting myself to say anything intelligent I looked back at him and just nodded.

So there I was, surrounded once again by the leaders of the Shinsengumi.

Kondou cleared his throat before saying, "I did think you were rather pretty, but to think you were in fact a lady all this time…"

Kondou was nodding his head solemnly, over and over, is if he were agreeing with a very intelligent suggestion.

I gaped at him finding it hard to believe that someone so soft could ever be the chief of such a violent group.

Hijikata gave a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Heisuke gave me a once-over seeming amused by something.

"Once you know she's a girl, she really doesn't look like a boy at all, does she?"

What was wrong with these guys; you would think they'd never seen a girl wearing pants before! And besides, it's not like I was seriously trying to hide that I was a girl…

Inoue grimaced, seeming to be the only one horribly bothered by this, "Then we bound girl and left her for an entire night…?"

Well hell, I couldn't believe it but I was actually feeling sorry for _him_. Here I was waiting for them to decide whether or not they were going to kill me and now I was feeling sorry for one of them just because they felt bad that they had done all these things to a girl!

Yup. Something was seriously wrong with me…

Of course, it didn't help that he was now looking at me , his eyes flooding with concern.

Each of them, however, took the news differently.

Nagakura folded his arms and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Well, 'she' claims to be a girl, but it's not like we have any actual proof, right?"

"Excuse me?! What exactly are you suggesting?"

Though, I understood what he meant I mean after all I was fairly below average in the chest area. Not that you'll ever hear me complain I mean if I had boobs that were more obvious I would just have to beat up that much more people for looking.

Harada laughed. Nagakura grumbled to himself under his breath.

"Proof? Really…? Not obvious enough for ya, huh? Alright, will you feel better if I strip her down?"

Okay, I was now officially disgusted with all of them.

I was about to tell him just that when a sudden outburst of rage shot from Kondou's mouth.

"No! You absolutely _will_ not! Even suggesting such a thing is preposterous!"

Kondou shot up before I had even finished opening my mouth, his face bright red, but Harada's words hadn't had any malice behind them.

"I just figured it was the quickest way to settle the question…"

Harada shrugged and settled back into his seat.

Nagakura still had his arms crossed, and his brows were knit.

"Well… If you really are a girl, then… Killing just feels kinda…wrong."

I clenched my fists not understanding how clueless they could be at times, it was frustrating.

I lifted my eyes to his.

"Killing without reason is always wrong it shouldn't have to depend on gender."

Hijikata completely ignored me, however, Harada's cheeks flushed slightly despite that fact.

Hijikata's eyes _did_ flick to mine momentarily before returning to Nagakura.

"It doesn't matter. If we have to kill her, she dies."

His words left no room for argument.

Sanan's voice broke the silence that followed.

"The lady is right, though. Gender is irrelevant. Killing in general is wrong."

He glanced at me momentarily, a careful smile in his eyes. But as he turned back to Hijikata the smile was gone… only a hint of concern remained.

"We were organized to protect the public good in the city of Kyoto. We would ill serve the public good by murdering civilians in cold blood."

"Yeah, yeah. But if this girl, or boy, is a threat to that peace, then that is a different story altogether."

Okita had that irritating wolf like grin again.

The Shinsengumi didn't enjoy a shining reputation already. If rumors began to spread that their men were thirsty for blood, things weren't likely to go well for them.

Ha! Like I could possibly care about that…

However, if they were no longer able to operate in Kyoto, and no one was there to protect the people, the city would eventually fall into chaos.

I could see in their eyes that each one of them knew full well the consequences rash actions could have. Well that is except for Okita, who seemed to be glancing at me periodically with the eyes of a bloodthirsty killer.

Fan-freakin-tastic! Was I eventually going to have to actually fight this lunatic?

Kondou's gentle voice broke into my thoughts of lunacy.

"Well then, we need only determine if you are a threat. Will you tell us your side of the story?"

I could feel all their eyes on me. The room was completely silent.

I took a calming breath and then began my story.

"My name is Chizuru Yukimura…"

I told them everything. How I had come from Edo to Kyoto to find my father.

"Oh, then you're from Edo as well? And you came all the way to Kyoto to find your father?!"

I could see emotion welling up in Kondou's eyes as he continued.

"What business did your father have in Kyoto?"

"My father is a doctor. His name is Kodo Yukimura, and he specializes in western medicine—"

It was like somebody had suddenly turned off all the sound in the world. I couldn't hear anything except the steady pounding of my own heart.

"What?!" barked Hijikata. The look of utter shock in his eyes.

Oh for the love of—What the heck did I say Now?

The moment my father's name crossed my lips, the atmosphere in the room changed.

Sanan was the only one who didn't seem phased by this, "Oh my… so the good doctor Kodo had a daughter did he?"

"Okaaay, so I take it you've already met my father then."

I wasn't sure what the sudden silence meant, and I was fairly certain that I didn't want to know; only that the revelation of my parentage had caused the pronounced change in their behavior.

It was Saito who finally broke the silence.

"The Shinsengumi is currently attempting to determine the whereabouts of Dr. Kodo Yukimura."

I choked out of laugh to hide my annoyance at thinking I had found a lead only to have it dashed away.

"So you're after my father too, huh? What has he done to _you_ , now?"

Okita smirked a smile that was a little less scary than what I'd seen so far.

"Oh, no, you've got it all wrong. We're not, uh, _after_ him. And he hasn't done anything to us."

I didn't fail to notice that his eyes didn't quite meet mine as he finished speaking.

"Okaaay…"

Could it have been the Shinsengumi my father had been dealing with during all those frequent trips to Kyoto? To be quite honest that would have been a relief…considering the alternative-booze and boobs.

At least with this I could have been somewhat proud of him for leaving me and my mother alone for so long each time.

"He's a fellow supporter of the Shogun," started Okita, "but… Well, he sort of disappeared a little while ago…"

I gave a heavy sigh and lowered my eyes to the floor and to make matters worse Saito added, "There's a reasonable chance that the enemies of the Shogun have identified him as a threat."

My eyes snapped up to his and I suddenly wanted to shout, "And why would they be thinking that, you jerk!" However, chances are it wasn't directly Saito's fault so instead I said as calmly as I could, "What exactly makes you think this?"

"That is not information you are at liberty to know." Hijikata's voice was a low growl, and his eyes burned with something I couldn't quite decipher.

"Okay, all right." I quickly put my hands up to show that I was backing off from the questions…Well, for now at least.

Saito continued speaking as though nothing had happened, "There is also a chance, of course, that he's still alive. Doctors trained in Western medicine and valuable and rare."

They seemed to be only concerned with his safety but for me it wasn't a matter of whether he was alive or not it was only a matter of whether he had gotten anyone _else_ killed. I didn't really want to mention this so I just nodded and said nothing.

My heart pounded frantically in my chest, though not out of fear for him but out of fear for any poor soul he tried to save. See he wasn't just a doctor; he liked to experiment on his patients using new treatments only he knew of, of course, he would never do this without their consent. As far as I could tell he wasn't aware that I knew about his 'special treatments'. As a kid sometimes at night I could hear wailing coming from neighboring homes where he had just finished performing his 'special' treatment. The cries never sounded human, not even once.

"But with you, we have a much better chance of finding the good doctor."

I glanced at Sanan but still didn't trust myself to say anything.

He continued. Apparently my father had only visited a small number of times. I understood then what he'd meant: It would be difficult for them to track down someone they barely knew.

Oddly, I felt relieved by this. If he hadn't been here with them for very long then he couldn't have possibly screwed up their lives…or so I wanted to believe.

"You are his daughter, so you ought to be able to recognize him no matter how he may have disguised himself, yes?"

I nodded, "That's right."

"Well, if she is his daughter, we can't really kill her, can we…" Hijikata muttered.

"…Which means more work for me," His eyes added. They narrowed as he looked down at me, his new burden. Though, he couldn't quite hide the hint of relief that now graced his eyes.

His eyes softened a fraction before he added, "If you swear to forget about what you saw last night, then we'll look after you until you can find your father. Fair?"

Kondou joined in on the joyous fun of deciding not to kill me, a brilliant smile tugging at his lips.

"I promise that the Shinsengumi will do whatever they can to help you find Dr. Kodo!"

I was still reeling from the fact that I wasn't going to die that I couldn't stop the slight tremor in my voice, "Th-Thank you so very much, Sir!"

I had never imagined something like this! Receiving the help of a whole group of highly trained eyes should help this search go much faster. Not to mention I had found my first decent lead.

Okita slid his eyes to mine a dumb grin twinkling within them.

"You must be pretty glad we won't be killing you, huh? …Well, won't be killing you just now, at any rate."

"Just give me a reason, Mr. Samurai," I grumbled through my teeth.

There was no denying that my situation was still less than desirable, but at that moment I really didn't care.

Heisuke gave a bark of laughter, "Okita was challenged by a girl! Now, when was the last time that happened?"

Nagakura brought his finger to his chin as though he were seriously thinking, "I believe it was his sister."

Harada just about choked on his own laughter, "That's right. Cuz she's the only girl in the world that he's afraid of!"

Kondou suddenly shivered as though remembering something dreadful, "Yeah, well, he's not the only one."

At this everyone glanced at each other and then burst into laughter.

Well hell, were they all afraid of this woman?! I suddenly found myself wanting to meet the woman who had instilled fear into a group like the Shinsengumi who was feared by all.

Well, I have been through a lot in the past two days and as I watched the sunset a second time, I found solace in knowing that the search for my father would no longer be a lonely one. That I would have help from that which I have least expected it…the Shinsengumi.

Let's face it, Kyoto had been hell for me when I first arrived here. And even though I'd been here for less than two days, it would seem my fortunes were taking a turn for the better. I still had a long way to go, and I had plenty of reasons to panic, but it was important to stay calm and optimistic.

The room had fallen silent once more as Kondou had apparently arrived at some sort of decision, "I'd prefer to place you in the custody of the Judiciary Commissioner or the Aizu rather than keep you in a house full of men, but…"

Kondou let the sentence hang in the air, and looked at me, his arms folded.

It was clear that I had no choice but to stay with the Shinsengumi. And to be quite honest I felt better about staying here then going to some _other_ unfamiliar residence.

"Should you require anything, you need only ask. We will do what we can to accommodate you."

Saito's expression didn't change, but his words were unexpectedly warm and friendly. I looked away from him awkwardly, but I still felt the heat rise in my cheeks. _For God's sake he's just being polite,_ I reprimanded myself.

I forced myself to look back at him and kept my eyes on his. I prayed that my cheeks weren't as red as they felt.

"Thank you…"

"W-Well, I guess we'll have to be nicer to you now that we know you're a girl."

Nagakura winked at me.

Heisuke rolled his eyes and said, "You're always nice to the ladies, Shin. Sure didn't take you long to change your tune once you figured out she was a girl, huh."

Nagakura grit his teeth at Heisuke, "What exactly are you implying?!"

I didn't really want to know the answer to that and was grateful when Harada jumped in for the save.

"Ah, whatever. Having a lady here at headquarters is sure going to brighten things up, won't it?"

Okay, when I said save I was clearly mistaken…

Besides, I wasn't entirely sure that would be the outcome.

Sanan put a stop to this nonsense with his next words, "Still, we can hardly treat her as one of our soldiers. Something else must be done with her."

Hijikata seemed annoyed by this as his eyes slid to mine and narrowed.

"Then make her a page or something. You want an assistant, Kondou? How about you, Sanan?"

He gave a small shrug. Whatever was done with me, it would seem he no longer cared. Now for reasons I couldn't fathom this bothered me. But before I could contemplate why, Okita forced his way into the conversation.

"Oh, come now, Hijikata. It's your idea, you can't just pawn her off on someone else."

Kondou, clearly amused by this added, "Ah, excellent! I believe we can trust Toshi with her!"

His face split in a wide smile, and he slapped his leg in agreement.

Sanan also nodded and said, "Well, there you have it, Hijikata. I hope you'll take good care of her."

Yes, well, there you have it. The whole Arrangement was decided and then agreed upon without Hijikata's or my consent.

And Sanan's smile had more than a little of a mocking twist to it.

Clearly neither of us we're going to have any say in this. Well great, not only was I now stuck with some strange gorgeous guy but he didn't even want to have anything to do with me!

Hijikata glared at all of them a growl in his voice, "You sons of _bitches_."

As I watched their back-and-forth, some of my earlier relief began to ebb away only to be replaced with the previous frustration and paranoia that my life could only get worse…


End file.
